Tuesday, August 31, 2010


One of my very favorite Rammstein songs. Apparently they never made a video of it. It's a song about a heroin addict who overdoses. It's very powerful (not to mention catchy, to me anyway!)


Monday, August 30, 2010

I'm not in the mood...

to say no.

Life's too short.


I had forgotten one of the biggest perks of working out at the gym I patronize...EYE CANDY!! Somehow it makes all the sweating and straining easier when you have something (or someone) to ogle. Discreetly, naturally. ;)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Oh God, People!

I know I've said this before, but it (obviously) bears repeating: Please, for my nasal passages' sake, TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER BEFORE YOUR MASSAGE. And, if you possibly can, refrain from farting. Thanks, your therapist will appreciate it.

Saturday, August 28, 2010


I had my very last cup of caffeinated ANYTHING this morning. I'm tired of wanting to answer "Tired" anytime anyone asks me how I'm doing.

Because that's how I've felt over the past few months. Either tired or wired. I call the wired part "fake awake".

I know that caffeine is not a big deal at all to most people. A lot of people need it, and take it (drink it, whatever), but they can still sleep normally, etc.

But I'm so damn sensitive to it, that my entire sleep cycle is disrupted. I'm so done with that! I want to feel normal again.

So, starting tomorrow: Decaf TEA, at the most. Plus water, lots of it. And Monday I head back to the gym.

Time to jet...

and I'm not even in my uniform yet...d'oh!

Anyway, time to head to work. Looks like it'll be a slow day, but I'm taking my microbiology textbook with me, and my laptop of course. I'll be able to get something accomplished, even if I don't make any money!

Hope all y'all have a fantastic Saturday!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

No more!

Caffeine after noon, that is. Rising four AM and I STILL can't sleep. ARGH!
My dog just peed on the carpet (probably because of a totally disrupted schedule, and probably because I'm so groggy I didn't notice his cues), and I know I'm going to be so fucking miserable later (I can't exactly say "in the morning", because it IS morning already!).

Oh, well.

In other news, I sexed one of my kittens wrong. Pipsqueak is Bruiser's BROTHER, not his sister. It's just that he's not as developed as his brother and his balls haven't dropped yet. Sheesh. At least I didn't name him "Buttercup" or "Daisy"...

In other, OTHER news, my fall classes started this week and I think I'm going to really enjoy them! Except for maybe my Microbiology lab...I'll have to see how much I can improve.

To quote JayG, "That is all."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Overheard inside a treatment room...

Client: "O, that sweet release...I FEEL IT!"

Me: "Good...?"

I can't visualize it...

A client I massaged recently is a bra fitter for a lingerie company she owns. Out of curiosity, I asked her what the largest cup size was that she'd ever sized. Her answer?


Yes, "O"!

I stuttered, "As in, 'OH. MY. GOD.'?!"

She just laughed. :)

Friday, August 20, 2010

This SUCKS...

Moving sucks.

Moving when it's a bazillion degrees outside sucks even more.

Moving when it's a bazillion degrees outside and the A/C unit at the house decides to go on vacation sucks the most.

Moving my internet is the UBER-SUCK, however. Especially when I arranged the move at LEAST six weeks ago, was assured my new address was in their service area, then come to find, "Oops, sorry...the signal is too weak!" That makes me want to kill somebody. To cap it off, since it's been (obviously) less than two years since I signed on with them, I have to pay a whopping cancellation fee. The bastards! Grrrrr.

Getting NEW and FASTER internet within a DAY rocks.

Getting away from a, shall we say, rather PARANOID roommate is absolutely priceless, and worth all the hassle and expense. :)

Somewhat paranoid FORMER roommate.

Yes, that is a sign at my former place of residence. Yes, he's booby-trapped the garage, workshop, and all outbuildings, since he's away on business and is tired of being robbed when he's away. I'm still not done moving all my stuff out, though today will definitely finish everything off, and I'm so tired, I'm afraid I'll open the door from the kitchen to the garage without thinking, and get shot. *sigh* Better drink more coffee...

Monday, August 16, 2010

And to think...

you didn't believe me!!


There, photographic PROOF!


Sunday, August 15, 2010

Fun to the Nth Power...

One week ago today (and how time flies when you're busier than a beaver during dam-building season...), my girls picked me up from work and we headed, with dogs in tow, to Elsewhere, TX for a wonderful, fun-filled evening of playing Munchkin, a wacky card game none of us had tried before. LawDog and Phlegmmy were the bestest hosts, as always, and served up some Texas barbecue that was a delicious farewell dinner for my girls.

While much fun was had, my twins especially were a bit apprehensive. We had a big day planned for Monday, and after the last debacle experience, going to a range and shooting seemed a little scary to them.

Those fears were quickly laid to rest!

JPG and Matt G. had been kind enough to extend an invitation to go to their sooper sekrit range, and we jumped at the offer! My new roommate Mulligan, his dad and stepmom (Dan and Judy) were also part of our party. Thank God Mulligan is smart, 'cause he picked up a gigantic awning at Sam's Club and thus heroically saved us all from heat stroke. It was horrendously hot last Monday, but we were all prepared with copious amounts of cold beverages, hats, and sunblock.

We formed a convoy, and after I negotiated the pasture in my dinky, low-profile car, we arrived at the range and got started setting up.

After the awning was assembled, we all got our goodies out and placed them lovingly on the table. This is only a small portion of the stuff that goes BANG! that was there that day.


Then, while Matt mowed the grass into firing lanes, JPG went over range commands and the four rules. Thankfully, my girls (and myself!) were attentive listeners. Safety comes first! JPG also explained the sometimes confusing nomenclature relating to firearms and shooting. Then the fun really began!

Can't forget eye and ear protection!


We started with rifles...






Then handguns. Of course, we took many breaks, since it was hotter than the lowest level of Hades out there. I believe I mentioned that, no? ;)



In between, I got to finally shoot with MY gun, w00t! *ahem*

I hit the evil monster eye, right in the pupil!

Thanks, AD! Your gift is truly stupendous. :)

The highlight and finale of the day was JPG's beautiful Thompson. We all got a chance to try it out, and several water bottles tragically lost their lives during our instruction. Pity, that. :D

That is one heavy gun!


Bottom line is, it was a spectacular day with this outcome:


No other words are necessary.

Another massage protip...

If you're menstruating and use a pad instead of a tampon, it's totally okay for you to wear your underwear during the massage. No, really...trust me, I won't mind.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

While I'm still going through shooting pics...

Here's a little something to tide y'all over!

Two songs. Different eras (one from 1982, the other 1998), one New Wave, the other Techno/Metal. One British band, the other German. You might wonder what I'm getting at, but these songs do have something in common: subject matter! The songs are almost identical in subject matter: pursuit of the female. The Rammstein song is even titled "Du Riechst So Gut" which means "You smell so good." Anyway, I love both songs and both videos, so I thought I'd put 'em up here.


Yes, I have rather eclectic tastes.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Seen on the way to the gun range...

a sign on the outside of a liquor store:

God is Great
Beer is Good
People R Crazy

AAR from the range plus lots of pics to follow, when I'm not so exhausted!

Thanks so much to JPG and Matt G. for sharing not only their sooper seekrit range with myself and my girls, but also their firearms, ammo, and most importantly, their expertise and outstanding instruction.

Gentlemen, massages are coming your way! Prepare yourselves.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Isn't that special?

I was getting some much-needed coffee in the hotel employee breakroom, which we spa folks are graciously permitted to use, when I noticed the box for nominations for Employee of the Month. On top of the box were the stacked forms one uses to actually nominate an employee for this honor.

Too bad each and every one of them says "Employee of the Month Ballet" on it!

The stupid, it burns!

I really should take advantage of the proximity of the suggestion box to point this out to whomever...

Saturday, August 07, 2010

The force is strong in this one...

I corrected an oversight this evening and had Tally watch Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. Over the next few days we'll catch the other two movies (you know, the only ones that count...)

Tally was rather underwhelmed by the movie, but one thing she did LOVE...James Earl Jones' Darth Vader.

Her comment? "James Earl Jones could kick your ass with his voice! PHYSICALLY!"

We all cracked up. :D

In other news, even though I haven't moved yet, my two kittens have already been transferred from dangerous (not to mention HOT) outdoor living to my future abode. With amusing results...;)

Thursday, August 05, 2010

Overheard inside the car...

"STOP! Only *I* am qualified to rummage in Mom's Black Hole™!"

I guess you had to have been there...

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

File this one under "Movies I'll Never Watch, Under ANY Circumstances!"

Have y'all seen "The Client List" with Jennifer Love Hewitt? No? GOOD!

I haven't either, since I was lucky enough to read a very informative review of this stinker at Go Fug Yourself!

Why bother seeing a craptastic movie when there are other folks perfectly willing to do it for you, then write scathing (not to mention SNARKY) reviews about it?

The basic premise of the movie is that Jennifer Love Hewitt is a massage therapist whose husband just lost his job, and in desperation, she accepts a job at the naughty kind of massage place. *Sigh* Plus, she gets addicted to cocaine while she's there. *Sigh* again.

Go read the review, then tell me if you still desire to see this movie.

The best line comes at the very end, and I quote:

"Massage therapists the world over are saying, 'Thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt, for helping fuel the stereotype that we are all secret prostitutes.'"
Yeah, thanks a lot, Bitch. And thank you, Hollywood, for churning out such dreck.

Tip o' the hat to Lissa, who was kind enough to email me the review.


Back around the 4th of July, I happened to win a contest at my friend Crystal's blog. She and her husband and adorable daughter Elanor (I'd call her husband adorable, but they might both kick my ass...) have fairly recently relocated to Singapore where Ravi has landed an awesome job.

My contest prize just arrived today, and I'm so excited and pleased! It's like it's my birthday and Christmas, all rolled up into one epic ball of WIN!

Thank you, Crystal!

We have a nifty American Embassy in Singapore tote bag, a snarky t-shirt, a beautiful preserved orchid, a Singapore postcard, and some rather intriguing foodstuffs. Yes, those are indeed seaweed-flavored Pringles potato chips. And some mango-filled cookies. I'm too chicken to try the chips right now, but Silver reports that they taste delicious. We *all* can attest to the tastiness of the mango cookies...NOM. Yes, food doesn't last long in these here parts...;)

Thank you again, Crystal! I love everything, and it will all be cherished (except for the food, that will be devoured. Quickly.) I can't believe I got stuff from SINGAPORE!

And thanks to Elanor, who had the wisdom and kindness, not to mention the manual dexterity, to pull my name out of the hat!

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

"Curse you, Joss Whedon!" (WARNING: SPOILERS!)

So, the girls finally caught up with Firefly; we watched the final three episodes on Sunday night. Yesterday was "Serenity" time.

Oh, dear.

The weeping, wailing, and lamentation could be heard far and wide.

Crying copious amounts of tears, her face and shirt-front wet, Silver sat in my room, shaking her fist and shouting, "Curse you, Joss Whedon! Why did you have to kill my favorite character in the whole show?!"

The twins were almost as upset, but they held it together better. Plus, they were objective enough to remark that it really was a very good film. Despite the killing off of favorite characters.

Silver also said there is no way she'll ever be able to re-watch the series, now that she knows how it ends.

Reminds me of me, a few weeks back, getting rid of my entire Anita Blake series.
The apple doesn't fall far, and all that.

I wonder if she'll ever trust me to pick a movie again...

Monday, August 02, 2010

Memorable moments from this weekend...

-Jim's addition to my Four Rules flashcards:
Mine (so my girls can practice):


-Hunting kittens by flashlight so that the Rabbits could adopt Daley and take him home with them (thank you!)

-Disappearing Appetizer and Disappearing Pie. NOM

-Literally kicking Jim's ass. Once for me and once for JayG, as promised.

-Shoe wars (just kidding!)

-Handing my phone around to everyone so they could talk to Wai, and hearing them go, "It's WAI? NO WAY!" (I'm easily amused)

-The image of Evylrobot Michael in swim trunks, hat, sunglasses, and cowboy boots.

-Apologizing to Ambulance Driver for having said "Shit-tons" possibly within earshot of KatyBeth, only to have him reply, "Don't worry about it, I didn't hear a fucking thing..."

-Having my daughters and/or KatyBeth repeatedly bring the Uno cards to me to be shuffled.

-OkieRhio manning the grill, and thereby rescuing the food from a fate worse than death (that would be moi!)


-Getting flung off of an inner-tube at high speed, on numerous occasions.

-Apricot pound-cake

-My twins entertaining the guests with their amazing, nostril-closing skills:

-Getting field sobriety tested by Matt G. And failing. "Turn around please, Ma'am and put your hands behind your back." YIKES!

-Jenni shaking her eyes in circles (very freaky!)

-Harley and Tucker going from person to person and getting lovin'.

-Playing Refrigerator Tetris with all of the leftovers.

-Receiving a call from Brigid.

-Being admired for my forearm strength and the muscle definition in said forearms. And for how well my veins pop up!

-Being asked at work if I'd had sex, since my face had "a glow" (FYI, no I didn't have sex, but I did spend time on the water...)

-Moving folks from my "Daily Reads" to "Bloggers I've Met" in my sidebar. :)

-Being aware that some guests were live-blogging or IM-ing. I LOVE BLOGGERS!

-Hearing my daughters' shrieks of (joyful) terror as they were being towed behind a jet-ski on an inner-tube.

-Jim kissing me on the cheek. Because Brigid told him to...

-Eating birthday cake ice cream


-Giving NcongruNt a chair massage while he was chatting on the Gunblogger Conspiracy IRC, around 4 AM or so.

-Having everyone applaud and cheer when I shouted "I have a GUN!"

-My first gun pr0n:

-Getting to play with a bunch of folks' guns, and having my daughters do the same.

-Hugging folks without being able to tell if they're carrying or not.

-Jim bolting away from bewbies.

-Unbelievably gooey, tasty brownies (are y'all sensing a theme here?)

-Desiree's gorgeous hair. And her husband's too!

-Chatting with Farmmom on the phone, while sitting on the banks of a lake.

-Seeing my friends from work talking to my blogging friends and having a good time doing so.

-Being really sore and very tired, but still feeling GREAT, 'cause it's a GOOD sore and tired.


-Most of all, meeting wonderful, incredible people, and catching up with old friends!