...could somehow manage to nick a nipple while shaving my thigh.
Well, it got in the way! It needs to learn how to dodge stray razors, is all I'm sayin'. And it bled like a sonofabitch. Let THAT be a lesson to it. Or me. Or something.
And FYI? It's fucking difficult to put a band-aid on a tiny cut on one's nipple, so that it is effective, anyway.