Sunday, July 25, 2010

I really want to know...

why a man would have a gigantic tattoo of his own first name across his upper back, from shoulder to shoulder. Anyone know? Anyone? Bueller?

Also, I've given this Massage Protip before, but it bears repeating: if you indicate to me that your entire hip hurts, from your lower back into your hamstring, and you request me to focus on this area, TAKE YOUR FUCKING UNDERWEAR OFF. There's only so much I can do if I have to work through the sheet. I've seen it all before, your ass is not special. Thank you.

13 comments:

Brigid said...

Maybe that was a little souvenir from his Chain Gang Fantasy Camp vacation?

Christina LMT said...

LOL!
You know, I had an evil thought similar to that, but I knew I'd burn in hell if I voiced it...Good to know I'm in VERY good company! ;)

Ambulance Driver said...

That's so the guy sodomizing him in prison will know what to call him.

Christina LMT said...

Dammit, AD! I knew you'd go there. THAT'S exactly what I said to Elisha after the massage. Weird.

Lissa said...

Classic narcissist?

Christina LMT said...

Lissa, you may have a point. Nothing else in his appearance or behavior suggests this, but maybe he was on his best behavior. He and his wife were having a couple's massage to celebrate their anniversary. Other than the tattoo, he seemed to be an average dude.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

I used to work with this dude that had his first name tattooed on his shoulder. Well, it was actually the familiar, shortened version of his first name. One time, I finally worked up the nerve to ask him what was with the tattoo. He explained that the artist who he really wanted doing the inking would not tattoo a 'virgin'. So, he went to somebody else just to get something stupid cut so he could turn around and go get the tattoo that he really wanted. So, his first name on his shoulder was his first tattoo. I asked him why he didn't get a girl's name and make up some sordid story to explain it. He said he didn't think of that at the time. Ultimately, he did have it covered over with an eagle head. The artist did a great job of it too!

Christina LMT said...

I can see how that could happen, but this particular guy had "Timothy" in GIGANTIC calligraphy across his back. The letters were about three to four inches high. UGLEEE!

Glenn Kelley said...

I thought of a couple possible reasons.Then I wondered if there was a reason you couldn't just ask what the story was behind the tattoo.

About the bad hip did you tell him he needed to remove the underwear?How much instruction do you/can you give?
I'm curious what protocol you work with.I've never been to a LMT.

Christina LMT said...

Glenn, I would never ask a personal question like that. It's unprofessional and it's none of my business. Of course, that doesn't keep me from speculating!

The client with the painful hip was a different client, an older woman. We have to say "undress to your level of comfort". If the client asks. I tell the client to get undressed and to get on the table, facedown, etc. If they ask me what MY preference is, I do tell them that I prefer my clients to be nude, if they're comfortable like that. It would never occur to me that someone who asks for a focus on the hip would keep her underwear on. I have had one client who expected me to reach INTO her underwear to massage her glutes, and that is absolutely out of the question; totally unacceptable.

You should really try a massage sometime! And if you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask me!

lucrativepain@yahoo.com

:D

Shannon said...

My sister has her full first name as a tramp stamp - not near as large as Timothy, but big enough and attractive. She is the kind that has no attachment to anything - flowers, animals, shapes, concepts...nothing. When she decided to get a tattoo (first one at 42 years), she said that her name was something she knew she would never regret. Maybe 'Timothy' is a generational family name, which would be an honorable tattoo, but having it that large remains a bit questionable.

An old timer once told me to NEVER get somebody else's name tattooed on me - he was tattooing me at the time with the hand that bore the name 'Marj' who was fortunately still his wife. I did not end up taking his advice - I've got my husband's name tattooed on me in two different places. I think some people just KNOW, and others don't. Apparently, Timothy knows something that the rest of us are scratching our heads about!!

Mike W. said...

your ass is not special. Thank you.

How would you know if you've never seen my ass? :)

Christina LMT said...

Shannon, that's definitely a good point. I'm so glad that your tattoos of Papa Bear's name wasn't the proverbial kiss of death, that truly is amazing. I, too, have heard the horror stories...glad to see they're not all true.

Mike. Trust me, I have seen so many, many asses. I HAVE seen the finest ass already, btw. It was Valentine's Day, 2008. We were totally slammed at the spa, because we were running a couple's special. Through the luck of the draw, I got to massage the hubby, my colleague Kathy got the wife. Even through my exhaustion, I couldn't help but notice that my client had, bar none, the finest ass I'd ever seen, much less touched. And I'm including asses of models, athletes, and porn stars in my comparison. THE. FINEST. ASS.
So, until I get you on my table to compare your ass to his ass...:D