Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I give up.

It really sucks when you've waited with bated breath for a book to come out, then waited some more to purchase it and savored the anticipation of reading it, only to be completely disappointed when you finally get to sink your teeth into it.

See, you can't exactly sink your teeth into fluff, now can you?

I'm a faithful Laurell K. Hamilton reader. I've been a huge fan of her "Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter" series from the very beginning. She CREATED the paranormal suspense genre, which has spawned so many imitators and competitors.

But she totally jumped the shark for me with her latest entry into the series, "Bullet".

If Anita Blake has to fuck one more were-ANYthing, her goddamn coochie should fall off. She should be permanently bow-legged, and damn if she can get anything done, what with all the orgies she *has* to participate in. For the good of humanity, of course. It's all bound up in her magic. Whatever. If I want to read porn ("erotica", if you will), I'll read porn, online, for free. Or I'll read some vintage Emma Holly, an author who KNOWS her stuff, and can really rev my engine. I don't have to spend 20 bucks to read about my former favorite supernatural crime-fighter fucking her way through St. Louis' (and the rest of America's, for that matter) Were community. Sex-sex-sex-FIGHT-sex-sex-sex-MAGIC-sex-sex-sex-PARTY-sex-sex-sex-FIGHT...*yawn*

If I still had my WalMart receipt, I'd take this pile of feces back and get a refund. I think I'll donate it to my local library, instead. Let somebody else try to get some enjoyment from this book. You never know, stranger things have happened!

16 comments:

C said...

Yeah, I gave up on Anita after the last book. I just can't be bothered to exert that much effort for 4 pages of plot out of 300 page book.

Like you said..when I want to read Erotica, I'll read (or write) GOOD erotica.

Way to ride the cash cow into the ground, Hamilton.

Bob S. said...

Ditto, I've enjoyed the series but for me it's been about 3 or 4 books now that have jumped the shark.

Every major magical conundrum seems to be resolved the same way -- sex produces super magical wave solving the problem.

Even her Merry Gentry novels are moving that way.

Christina LMT said...

C, I actually enjoyed the previous book in the series, I felt she was moving back towards the original spirit of Anita, and it was a police procedural/mystery, to boot. She *is* making the big bucks now, and *we're* the ones who made that possible. *sigh*

Bob, I haven't given up on Merry Gentry...YET.

10% said...

Indeed. Somewhere in the early part of the series, an editor must have said "You know this book would be great if it had more longhaired tripods that live and breathe at Anita's every sexual whim. Think you could do that?"

I had hopes after the last book, but I think she went through 200 yards of "turgid member" in the first 90 pages.

Old NFO said...

LOL... Sorry you wasted your money though...

Christina LMT said...

10%, I think that's why I was so disappointed in "Bullet", because I enjoyed "Skin Trade" much more than her last few books.

Old NFO, I not only donated "Bullet", I actually gathered the ENTIRE SERIES and donated the whole kit and caboodle! How can I reread ANY of the books, knowing where everything ends up?

Lissa said...

I gave up right around "Cerulean Sins" . . . as far as I'm concerned "Narcissus in Chains" was the last good one. What a sad descent into bad porn.

Christina LMT said...

I don't mind sex, even graphic sex in the novels I read. What I do mind is the lack of any other discernible plot. Ugh. I guess I just refused to see the writing on the wall.

SCI-FI said...

"If Anita Blake has to fuck one more were-ANYthing, her goddamn coochie should fall off. "

Epic takedown!

Christina LMT said...

*bows modestly*
Thank you, Sir!

Chasing Freedom said...

I'm with Looking for Lissa. I simply stopped reading the series at "Narcissus in Chains"; if not to save my good opinion of Hamilton, to at least save my $20.00. It was a shame to see a well planned alternate-history environment torpedoed by an author's lack of imagination.

Christina LMT said...

I had too much invested in the series to give up back then, C.F. But the books have certainly gotten progressively worse. It is very, very sad to see the waste of talent.

Trini said...

Agreed totally on the LKH front! I like to pretend that the series ended after Narcissus, that way I can stay in my happy place.
I've recently been reading the Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews, and quite enjoying it..

I'll re-visit LKH if she decides to actually write a book, instead of UN-edited awkward bad porn scenes randomly strung together.

Christina LMT said...

By the way, thank you, Trini and Chasing Freedom, for stopping by AND commenting!

I think I'll stick to Merry Gentry from LKH from now on, until it gets too sucky. I love Patricia Briggs' Mercedes Thompson and Alpha and Omega series, and I also love Kelley Armstrong's Women of the Otherworld.
Oh, and Carrie Vaughn's Kitty the Werewolf series!

John B said...

I only read topping from below, and panic snap. I saw the suck starting.

And she never gave me us any Paris.

Christina LMT said...

The suck started many books ago, I was just too loyal to give up on her until now. I feel like a friend died!