Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Some spa tips for you

If you've just spent the past six hours walking around the Strip in 100+ degree weather, I DON'T CARE THAT YOU TOOK A SHOWER THIS MORNING. Take another fucking shower before I massage you. It won't kill you, and it will prevent me from wanting to kill you because of your disgusting and rank odor.

If you insist on wearing shorts when I massage you, I appreciate cool ones, like the Simpsons ones a client was wearing yesterday.

If you're a female who's training for MMA events, don't take testosterone.*
I don't care if you're convinced it will help you win your fights.

a)Everyone can tell you're taking it.
b)The effects are irreversible.
c)It's scary, especially your beard stubble and the obvious sideburns you try to shave off.

*Okay, so this has nothing to do with the spa, per se. Consider these bonus tips!

10 comments:

Carteach0 said...

As a guy, I have no trouble giving a resounding EWWWWW.

Christina LMT said...

As a gal, I'm right there with you: EWWWWWWWWW.

Buck said...

Aiiieee! TMI! TMI! (insert Big-Ass grin here)

dick said...

Beard stubble...
on a chick...

Can't process the thought it's so darn wrong.

Anonymous said...

Gotta give that a big EWWWW also. Im a foo foo girl tho...
CP(former SNP employee)

Buckskins Rule said...

I'm with Carteach and Buck...

Shudder!!

Christina LMT said...

Buck, (almost) nothing is TMI on the internet!

Dick, it scared me. It was blonde, so I didn't notice until I started massaging her face.

Christina LMT said...

Hey, CP! You ARE a foo-foo girl, and I LOVE it! Nice to see you here.

Buckskins, I KNOW. Ugh.

Zelda said...

Just one of the many things I'm looking forward to. And it won't be anyone's fault. You get like that after 5 minutes in the heat down here.

Christina LMT said...

Zelda, but I can almost guarantee you won't be massaging somebody's naked ass. And crotch sweat smells the nastiest. :P