I massaged a very nice lady this afternoon, whose fingers were adorned with two-inch acrylic nails.
One burning question was running through my mind throughout the massage:
How the hell can you wipe your ass with claws like that?!
Also, and completely unrelated: If you're dragging your huge-ass suitcase through a crowded hotel, BE CAREFUL OF OTHER PEOPLE.
Don't ram your suitcase into someone's leg and keep moving without even apologizing. And don't act like you don't know what happened, when the rammee is hopping up and down while letting loose a string of profanity that's turning the air blue and setting your hair on fire. Thank you.