Monday, September 15, 2008

Potpourri of Miscellaneous Redundancies...

I don't like to tan. That's mainly because I take after my Northern European mother and am pale as a ghost. I CAN tan, but only after suffering horrific burns, not a desirable process, believe me! Plus, my older brother already had a skirmish with basal cell carcinoma, while in his twenties. As much as I admire and adulate my brother, I really don't want to emulate him in this area!
That said, I'm pretty much of the opinion that whatever floats your boat, go for it! If you want to resemble well-worn saddle leather, have at it.
However, the other day while at Wal*Mart, in the Health and Beauty section, of all places *snerk*, I saw a woman who was tanned so darkly I literally did a double-take and stood staring at her for a moment, with my jaw dangling somewhere around the level of my clavicles. Thankfully, Alligator Sal was perusing the products on the shelves, so I was able to pull myself together before someone called the nice men in the white coats to take me away.

Who thinks this is attractive? I fully believe this woman must be one of those addicted-to-tanning people. That's the only explanation I'll accept!




*SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT - SPOILER ALERT*

I'm so pissed off right now, I have to vent. I just wasted DAYS of my life on one of the worst fantasy series I've ever read. What pisses me off even more is that I LOVE David Eddings. I devoured the Belgariad and Malloreon as a kid, and was thrilled when my daughter fell in love with them recently as well. The Elenium and Tamuli are equally adored in this house. So imagine my dismay and disappointment to find such dreck actually published. The only fact that keeps me from finding a sharp, pointy stick and poking my eye out is that I checked the books out from the library and thus didn't pay a dime for this, this...printed matter unworthy to line a litter box with!
*whew*
But the WORST part of it, the part that by far pisses me off the most, is the ending. How can you have an ending that renders the events of the entire series null and void? "Oh, let's go back in time and do this, then NONE of the bad stuff we just went through will ever happen!"
Mother FUCKERS!!!!
What a cop-out. I've truly never been so disappointed in a book ending in my life. I think I'd have been happier if everyone had just died at the end, seriously.
Okay, vent over.




I've mentioned before that I'm scheduled for bariatric surgery in November. I haven't gone into details regarding the whole process, but let me just say that my insurance company makes all candidates jump through a plethora of hoops before they authorize the surgery. The entire program is 18 months long! Six months pre-surgery, and a year post-op. I have no problem with this, anything that will help me be successful is appreciated.
Something very amusing happened today, however. I was walking through the employee dining room with my salad, headed for my table, when I saw a lady I know from support group coming towards me, I shouted a, "Hi! How are ya!" and was getting ready to ask her if I was going to see her next week at our group, when I became aware of the horrified expression on her face. Then I noticed the bowl of ice cream she was (unsuccessfully) trying to shield from my view with her other hand.

BUSTED!

I'm not a snitch, so she has nothing to worry about. I also noticed the two empty drink glasses at her table, also a no-no (no drinking 30 minutes prior, during, or 30 minutes after meals.)

Hey, I cheat on occasion as well, but at least I'm smart enough to do it at home, where I won't get caught!

6 comments:

Chuck said...

I've never understood those people who are so into tanning that they get so dark it looks unnatural. My ex used to do that. It's scary looking!

I used to read a lot of fantasy. My favorite series of all time is Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time books. Ever read him? I think I need to catch up and read the last few in the series sometime.

Buck said...

BUSTED!

Ain't that always the way it goes down? At least you were on the good end of this one, Christina!

I hear ya about the tanning thing, too. I spent my last year in high school in SoCal and was on the "tanning bus" at the time... everyone was. Not a good thing... at all... for a natural red-head. I still remember some of the burns I got. NOT pretty. At ALL.

Christina LMT said...

Chuck, I think I read the Wheel of Time up to book...six? I remember it was 1995, I think. I just got so fed up with no resolution to the story that I quit reading it!

Buck, regarding the tanning...ME TOO!
I tried to tan obsessively until I hit around 19 and realized how stupid and unhealthy it was. I have vivid memories of horrible, horrible sunburns, blisters and all. Ugh. Never again, if I can avoid it. SPF 80 sunblock for the win!

phlegmfatale said...

Me too - I don't understand the obsession with leathery, overly-tanned hide. Yeuch.

Putz said...

a worse book than that while you are on the subject is the shack by young....a truely misleading book

Christina LMT said...

Well, Putz, I'll just have to avoid that one, right?! ;)