Seen on a health form a (male) client filled out, in the space where one can write concerns or issues the therapist should be made aware of...:
I'm a wimp. Please be gentle with me...
Seen on a t-shirt a chubby teen-aged boy was wearing at a football game:
I go to school for the babes.
And I feel like I'm cursed, 'cause a guy sitting in the bleachers right below me kept leaning forward and putting his (highly UNattractive) ass-crack on display.
I get enough ass at work.
Wait, that came out wrong...